Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
