She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
