I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
