what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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