Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
