i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize