Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
