Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
