his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Found the puke drawer
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
did you just send me my own nude
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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