oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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