Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
