the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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