Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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