she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
