Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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