Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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