is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
