if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
