1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
