How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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