Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
