I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
