And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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