the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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