Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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