i can't believe i had my finger in that
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
