There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
