who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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