when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
