She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
