any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
