we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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