i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
