She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
