this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
