Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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