is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
