Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
