Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
