At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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