Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
