I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
