I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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