this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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