My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
