So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
