You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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