Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
