i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
