ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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