I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
